Frustrated

I am frustrated with myself. I do not understand why at the age of 58 I still struggle with being able to express myself without letting others overpower me with their strong wills and sharp tongues. I am still held captive by a need to please.

I have gotten stronger thru the years, but still find myself frustrated, angry at myself and others who take advantage of this.... I have to find a way to assert myself.

The most recent example is when I emailed my daughter-in-law (who I have correctly labeled a control freak) asking for birthday gift suggestions for my granddaughters upcoming 9th birthday. She replied but not with any suggestions but to inform me that they have decided to celebrate her birthday and halloween?at our place. Then giving me two dates to choose from!

I mention this to Hubby PIA and he doesn't bat an eye. Suggests the date he prefers since it will coincide with a visit from his sister.

It drives me nuts that this daughter-in-law just makes these plans and then expects everyone to fall in line with her decisions. I can also guarantee that at this time she will bring up Christmas. This has been a source of alot of angst as we try to agree where and when that will work for all of us. She will have already spoke with our children and have come up with all the details. ...
       and I just don't understand how the family Christmas has gotten away from us. The elders of this family. It has been my experience that my parents, his parents always told us when and where. Well, it was always their home, but they did inform us of date and time. We never took control. We found a way to be there.

I can't help but feel that our children do not respect us. They do not give us the respect that any parent should be given. We have three grown children. The oldest son does show us respect. Its the other two and the oldest son's wife that do not seem to know anything about respect.